The Question

Oh, I’ve prayed so many prayers relating to a certain topic this year. Mostly begging prayers. Prayers about Him granting me, Him letting this or that happen, Him making and doing and giving and taking away.

It dawned on me during a Monday morning quiet moment today: I haven’t asked Him what He wants. The most important question, and I’ve skipped over it for months, frantically trying to figure things out from the bottom-up (me being the bottom, him being the up).

I grabbed my journal, flipped to the next blank section, and scrawled, Where do YOU want me to be? And the voices, the questions, the scenarios – they all quieted. Because this is the only question that really matters. Because finally after months and months of searching, he brought me the answer. And like all the best answers He’s ever given me, the answer is more of Him. New ways of Him. New faith, new waiting. Just… Him.

The thing about a relationship with God is that I can forget it really is two ways. I haven’t experienced a ton of the two-way-edness. I’ve certainly prayed, “Keep me in your will,” “Let me be obedient.” Yadda yadda. All great prayers. But, He graciously showed me something new this morning: Asking his opinion. Not rushing around, seeking what He might want, wondering if I’ve prayed all the right ways, but just seeking Him. Having faith that what He wants is what’s best for me – it is simple and complicated, beautiful and mysterious – just like the Creator and Author.

Where do YOU want me to be?