5 AM

I was snippy towards my husband this morning, and by this morning, I mean a 5 AM pre-work dog walk. Way too early for anyone to be snippin’ anyone else. The problem came from me jumping to conclusions about what was going on in his head based on his actions. I thought I saw selfishness. What I didn’t see but should have was a man just getting off a 48 hr shift, up again at 5 AM the next day to go back for another 24. Whoops.

My old self, with alllllll of its selfish tendencies, wanted to hold on to his actions rather than his heart. At 5 AM, when I felt wronged, it seemed perfectly okay for me to coddle my annoyance and hurt feelings. My new self, learning to listen and act with the Spirit, knew I needed to apologize ASAP and work to make amends for this early morning harm. It didn’t come easy or look pretty at first, I assure you. I played the “I’ll apologize but you need to also” card, also known as the straight up pride card. It wasn’t what my heart or his needed in that dark, muggy morning moment.

When you’re the one who feels wronged, only to realize you’re actually the one wronging, it’s doubly sour. But I do find there’s double gain from these moments. Despite the rocky start, I got to show my husband humility, gentleness and my need for his forgiveness. My poor decisions created an opportunity to bring us close. Secondly, I got to interact with the Spirit in a very real way through Him convicting me in that moment. It was a chance to respond to the conviction of sin in my life, a chance to further die to my sinful self, and I will always be thankful for those moments.

It doesn’t matter how early or late we start our days. Sin is a part of us, always ready to separate us from freedom with the Lord. My encouragement to you when sin starts to entangle is to stop immediately – you know when you feel convicted – and listen for the Spirit’s prompts. There is only gain from acting on these promptings, so act quickly and get on with living in victory with the Lord.